Tempered Independence

Tempered Independence

Proverbs 15:20 A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish man despises his mother.

This verse from today’s devotion caught my eye. I write especially for teenage readers, but it really applies to all. Remember that God still cares about how you treat your parents. So often excuses are given because of immaturity or naive oversight. But, in reality, there’s nothing complicated about the intent of the fourth commandment. One of the subversive, under-the-radar, dangers we face in our culture is the desire to be independent of traditional norms, no matter the cost. There is a huge push for personal independence; so much so that the sin of simple disrespect is often overlooked.

Yet, it still matters to God that you take into account your parents’ thoughts and feelings, no matter how unjustified you think they may be. Personal independence is not the end all, be all of life; it’s a process whereby an individual grows and matures; it’s never supposed to be the consummation of life. If you make changes or want to do things differently, think them through first. Have a reason for your change that is not just about your personal independence, or doing something just to stand out. It’s often those very decisions which you will most regret later in life, but I’ll also give you two more reasons why:

1.Your parents love and care about more than you give them credit for. It’s not a coincidence that in the previous chapter of Proverbs, we see this bit of wisdom, “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray(12:26).” Many are the ways of life that can lead you astray, and many are the people that will befriend you on those paths. Who you choose to spend time with matters. Who you choose to imitate matters. Your parents love you unconditionally, so much so that they would tell you things you don’t want to hear, knowing full well the reaction they’ll get for it. You simply cannot overstate the value of love like that.

2. Your parents are blood-bought souls of Christ. He came to earth to suffer and die for them, just as much as He did those things for you. He loves them just as He loves you. This means your parents are valuable to God; and if they are valuable to Him they should be so to you. You also know how it hurts and affects their faith when you rebel or change for foolish reasons, or for your own selfish independence alone. Perhaps more than any other relationship you have, the way you treat your parents will have a profound effect on their faith. Instead of being so quick to separate yourself from your parents, exercise Godly wisdom by seeking to build them up in Christ.

 


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